I had thought that my days for talking to people who were thicker than 100 year old oaks were over now that everyone I encounter at the office is supposed to be sober. Unfortunately it proves true that when they are sober, muppets are still invariably muppets. Observe….

Me – We sent you two cheques back as you made them out to the deceased in error, can you check what’s happening with that?

Stockgirl – Our records show that Mr Bob himself cashed those cheques on the date of issue.

Me – Firstly, it’s impossible to cash a cheque on the date of issue as it would have to reach him in the post, second the cheque was issued in 2003 and Mr Bob died in 2001 so he certainly didn’t cash the cheque.

Stockgirl – No no, our system definitely shows he cashed the cheque on date of issue in 2003.

Me *after 5-10 minutes of repeating the above conversation* – LOOK! The guy was dead and burried for two years before you even sent the cheque out, HE DIDN’T CASH IT…unless of course he clawed himself out of the grave and walked into the bank. I’m sure we would all have heard about it though as the upset cashier would definately have gone to the news!

Stockgirl – I don’t know whats going on here.

Me – I don’t think you know what’s going on ANYWHERE!

Needless to say I am waiting for a call back from someone not completely lacking in brain function, and also for my brain to stop bleeding so heavily from all the pressure that built up in it over the 25 minute call.