Special Needs: Oh my god, when I went for the test-drive on my new car…it had petrol in it!
Ms Woo(deadpan): You often find that
The post below this one is about me.
I cannot breathe, I haven’t slept much in the last two days, not at all last night and did I mention that I can’t breathe? I was feeling pretty sorry for myself today.
Following two sleepless nights, I wandered soullessly around the house at 7am this morning in a pair of rumpled pj’s, my hair a mess, no make-up, no colour to my cheeks, vapour rub glistening on my chest and upper lip with a breathing strip across my nose and dark circles under my eyes.
“Do i look as crap as I feel?”
“I love you”
Ever the diplomat eh?
Autoerotic asphyxiation without the auto or the erotic..
Special Needs has no sense of personal space or, so it would seem, any concept of what is acceptable behaviour in a workplace.
Yesterday I sat at my desk, file open in front of me and finger running down the page as I looked for some snippet of information. As if by magic a telephone message plonked itself between my face and the page I was so obviously reading.
That’s right, she stuffed a telephone message on top of the very important thing I was looking at.
I HATE THAT!
IT’S RUDE!
Ten minutes later I am now on the telephone responding to the message which she thought was so important before, when she meanders over, shoves her work in my face and screeches at me that she has put the wrong number in her book. I know five year olds with better manners than that!
I will have my day with that girl. I can see it approaching at frightening speed.
Special Needs – PAPER ‘p-a-p-p-e-r’?
Me – Huh?
If there is one traffic report I never thought I’d hear it would be this mornings.
The A1 is closed this morning due to burning pigs blocking the road.
That’s right. Pigs on fire all over the road. Ironically, I got bacon out for dinner before I left the house too.
Had no one commented to the post below, I would have completely forgotten to post the next part… so this is for Rachel.
Approaching the receptionist, she was all to happy to oblige and the answer was most definitely unforeseen.
Killer Otter
I would appear that the owner has some expensive fish hanging out in that pond and some insatiable otter has decided to make it his local deli bar.
A somewhat unexpected reply, but hell it was an unexpected sign too. I’d love to see some CCTV footage of that damned otter when he discovers the fence!
On a hunt for a wedding venue, we visited a most beautiful castle with fabulous gardens and ornamental ponds. On wandering into the reception we saw the following sign:
Due to unforeseen circumstances the fence around the pond is now electric. Please do not touch
You know I had to ask right?
Kill Santa and turn him into crispy cakes..
“I’m ball-less Bob the joy bunny..”
What Silly People Say